I’ve been sick for a month now.
Okay, maybe it only feels that way. Real time? Four days,
but it might as well be a month.
I learned a valuable lesson this week, though: Don’t watch
soaps when you’re sick.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m fairly cranky and
whiny when I’m sick. So, watching my favorite soap – in this case ‘General
Hospital – turned into an impossible chore when I started focusing on
everything that was wrong on GH instead of right.
What am I talking about?
Sabrina needs to grow up: This is a grown woman right? This
isn’t a middle school girl? I’m confused, of course, because I’ve had to listen
to her whine about a man she has never dated for the past week (more like months). If Sabrina
wants to be taken seriously, maybe she should stop the middle school antics and
move on. Forget Britt, Patrick is never going to truly care about you because
of Robin. Let it go.
Liz needs something to do: When did Liz turn into Amy
Vining? The fact that they’re using the beloved Rebecca Herbst to prop a vapid
newbie is infuriating. Why isn’t she being put in scenes with Sean Kanan’s A.J.?
It’s become clear that they’re pushing A.J. towards Carly – which will make him
the third man on the canvas panting after Carly like he’s in heat and she’s the
only female on the planet. She already has Todd and Johnny, she doesn’t need
A.J., too. Set him free! Kanan and Laura Wright have great chemistry, but no
one is going to be able to get past their mutual history and accept them. Let
Connie’s dastardly steal a middle-schooler’s book plan is
getting old: To be fair, the whole Connie storyline is over and done. I don’t
care about Connie. I don’t care about Sonny. Forcing them together on my screen
isn’t going to help matters. All it does it make me fast forward through their
scenes. However, this “Love in Maine” disaster only serves one purpose: I now
officially hate Maine.
Britt needs to realize that she’s not smarter than a
five-year-old, let alone a fifth grade: Why is it that soap characters are
openly mean to small children as a way to show they’re evil? GH has went out of
their way to prove to viewers that Britt is evil and Sabrina is good since day
one. We get it. We don’t need to see Britt threaten a small child. Anyone else
hope Anna beats the snot out of Britt? Just a tip, though, GH – I still don’t
like Sabrina, even though you’ve sacrificed Britt at her altar.
The vampire storyline is stupid: I love Lynn Herring, but GH
should have just let the whole vampire thing go. Are you telling me Lucy never
reads the newspaper? Because Sam McCall would have been all over it when she
got her baby back, when the baby “died,” when she got blown up in a limo, etc.
John McBain also would have made the papers for the whole bioscare, Faison
scenario and that whole Todd Manning coming back from the dead thing. In this
media obsessed world, you’re telling me Lucy never saw any of the stories done
on these two? Stake the vampire storyline pronto.
Ellie is the new Hannah: How am I supposed to invest in
Ellie when she’s clearly being set up as the new Hannah – or Siobhan, for that
matter? The writers are clearly making Ellie the foil to Maxie and Spinelli’s “happily
ever after.” Why should we root for her when we know where you’re going with
this story? Setting Ellie up to eventually be evil isn’t going to make me root
for Spinelli and Maxie – and it’s not because Maxie is suddenly lying to Lulu
and Dante about losing their baby. It’s because I can’t stand Spinelli – I haven't been able to stomach him – and I never will. This isn’t going to help.
Olivia’s hallucinations aren't entertaining or illuminating:
Olivia’s psychic trances were never fun for me. I always found both the acting
and the writing in the scenes painful. The writers keep beating that dead
horse, though, and I’m done caring. Steve is leaving the soap soon – send Olivia
Rant over -- until spring allergy season.
What do you think? What storylines are working and which