Friday, June 15, 2012

Things that make you go ewwwww

I’ve made an uncomfortable discovery about soaps over the past two weeks.

Actually, I started noticing it awhile before that, but it just really started to get to me recently.

There are a lot of relationships being explored that probably would have been better left on the cutting room floor.

What am I talking about?

You know, those relationships that make you – as a viewer – feel just a little bit uncomfortable.

Not ‘Game of Thrones’ uncomfortable – but just this side of the HBO incest bonanza.

Take General Hospital’s Sam, for example. She’s had sex with two brothers who just happen to be the fathers of her two sisters – and one was married to her mother at the time.

I probably shouldn’t pick on Sam, though. GH is especially bad when it comes to relationships like this. Liz has slept with brothers, Nikolas slept with sisters, Alexis slept with brothers, Carly slept with brothers, Jason slept with Courtney when he was in love with her brother Sonny, etc. Heck, Monica slept with her own nephew – thankfully it was by marriage.

Right now, though, the little group that’s really grossing me out is Carly, Johnny and Lulu. Lulu and Carly are cousins. They used to be close cousins (not kissing cousins, mind you, but close), but now they barely talk to each other. Lulu and Johnny spent years in a destructive relationship. Then Johnny dated Olivia. Olivia’s son is Dante. Dante is Lulu’s husband and the son of Carly’s former husband. Carly and Johnny are now involved and Johnny and Lulu are going into business together. Oh, and Carly’s son is Dante’s brother.

The whole thing is all kinds of icky.

I mean, take ‘The Bold and The Beautiful.’ The story that ate that soap currently is the Steffy, Liam and Hope triangle. Liam married Steffy (and then left her) and now he’s with true love Hope. Here’s the thing, Steffy used to be sleeping with Liam’s father Bill. Bill then pushed Steffy to marry his son. Bill’s current wife Katie is Hope’s aunt. And Hope and Steffy? Yeah, they share a father.

Sound gross to you, too? It gives me the creeps.

Over on ‘Days of Our Lives,’ Carrie is in love with Rafe who was married to her sister Sami. Sami used to stalk Carrie’s first love Austin – who is currently Carrie’s husband. Austin’s half-brother Lucas lusted after Carrie but slept with Sami. Sami and Lucas have a grown son Will – who just came out of the closet (DOOL’s best story in years, by the way). Oh, and Austin and Lucas’ sister Billie has stalked Sami and Carrie’s Uncle Bo throughout the years.

Yup, that’s gross, too.

The most disgusting little group, though, is currently housed on CBS’ ‘The Young and the Restless.’ The current love story du jour involves Sharon and Victor. Victor Newman is the father of Nick, Adam and Victoria. Nick is Sharon’s ex-husband. Oh, and Adam is Sharon’s ex-husband, too (even though he stole her baby and made her think it was dead). She used to be best friends with Nikki and Victoria – Victor’s ex-wife and daughter respectively – but she’s pretty much alienated them right now. Sharon is also the mother of Victor’s grandson.

Should I wait to continue while you go throw up?

I understand that soaps have shrinking budgets and casts, but the pseudo-incest is too much.

In the real world, women try to stay away from their friends’ and family’s leftovers. And, when it does happen, there’s usually some sort of discussion about it.

I’m not sure Carly and Lulu have even acknowledged the fact that they’ve slept with the same guy – which is a randomly weird thing not to discuss.

So, in the future, can soaps just put a little forethought into their relationships?

When a character can say “That’s not how your dad used to do it” and really mean it, you know you have a problem.

What do you think? Are you getting a little uncomfortable with certain relationships on soaps?


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