Friday, June 15, 2012

The Vagina Monologues take over Michigan

Who let the vaginas out?

No, seriously, what’s going on?

Everywhere I turn that’s all anyone can talk about. Apparently vaginas are the new must-have summer accessory.

Shoes? Check. Cute little flower purse? Check. Vagina? Check.

The current brouhaha stems from Michigan Rep. Lisa Brown, an Oakland County representative. Brown was engaging in a heated debate on the Michigan House floor about an abortion bill that would put regulations on abortion providers and ban any abortion after 20 weeks.

I’m not really interested in engaging in an abortion debate. That turns people on both sides into irrational grandstanders most of the time – myself included.

What I find interesting is the aftermath of the debate.

Brown closed her speech with the following: “And finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.’”

That simple statement – rooted in a very basic truth – has set the state on fire.

First Brown was called on her “vulgar” use of language by a variety of different national and state political figures – all men I might add.

I must have missed the dirty word conference this week – and frankly I don’t know how they had the meeting without the president, but that’s another diatribe -- because last time I checked vagina was a medical term.

Trust me, there are a lot of different words that Brown could have used that actually could have been termed offensive. Vagina, however, is the most innocuous one in the English vernacular.

Call me crazy, but maybe you shouldn’t be legislating my vagina if you can’t even talk about it without freaking out.

What the offended parties have done is set off a firestorm of debate that’s hitting the national stage.
This shouldn’t come as a surprise, especially since women’s reproductive rights have taken center stage in this political cycle.

What does come as a surprise, though, is that a group of men feel they can legislate on this issue without taking those “icky” lady parts into consideration.

The simple fact of the matter is that women have a vagina. I know, it’s shocking to some apparently.
I guess I take the libertarian view on a lot of different things.

If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t marry a gay person.

If you don’t like pot, don't smoke it.

And if you can’t say the word vagina, don’t pass laws that affect my vagina.

Since I know it scares men, though, now I’m going to just start dropping the word vagina in everyday conversation.

You know, guess how my vagina is feeling today. Or, my vagina is a little depressed today. Or, my personal favorite, my vagina has a migraine so you have to do what I say today.

Should be a fun and brave new world. Welcome to the Vagina States of America.


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