10. Dancing Sam: In an effort to tie in Kelly Monaco’s ‘Dancing with the D-List Stars’ win, GH’s writers fashioned a twin for Monaco’s Sam character. The character’s only claim to fame seemed to be dancing. She wasn’t tied to anyone else on the canvas and the collective eye roll from fans quickly had the storyline (thankfully) going into soap oblivion.
9. Emily’s abandoned twin Rebecca: Not long after killing off Emily, the GH writers realized they had made a mistake. To fix that mistake, instead of resurrecting Emily they decided to bring actress Natalia Livingston back as Emily’s twin Rebecca. Supposedly Emily’s biological mother had given Rebecca up at birth because she couldn’t afford her. We all knew that was crap since we’d seen Paige onscreen and saw how devoted she was. Rebecca was a mess from the start. First we find out she’s trying to fleece the Quartermaines. Then we find out she’s legitimately fallen in love with Nikolas. Then we find out fans are outraged and want her gone. Then she’s gone. The writers would have been better off bringing back Emily – because Rebecca was a nightmare from start to finish.
8. The Text Message Killer: A few years ago, GH was trying to cut costs and they did it by trimming the cast. Their method of madness? Killing off fan favorites like Georgie and Emily by a masked madman. While the story itself was weak, the final reveal of who the killer was – a supposedly dead Diego – was what really bit the big one. The choice of the GH heroines to kill off was a definite mistake (there were a number of others to choose from) – but to have the killer be Diego was ludicrous.
7. Liz and Nikolas have an affair: This one came out of nowhere. I like both Rebecca Herbst and Tyler Christopher as performers – but they had no business pairing these two. Forget, for a moment at least, that they had been best friends for years. But, when you couple that with the fact that Liz’s soul mate is actually Nikolas’ brother Lucky, the whole thing was gross and out-of-character for both characters. After saddling Liz with yet another kid, the writers thankfully fixed Aidan’s parentage and made Lucky the father. Unfortunately, that story also ushered Nikolas off the canvas. I guess he was just the latest victim of General Mobsital.
6. Ethan is Luke’s son: Within the past five years or so, the GH writers have started perpetrating a lie. That lie is that Laura somehow trapped Luke with a house and a baby and tried to ruin his life. The writers then said that Luke would often take off – even though he was onscreen at the time and we knew it wasn’t true – and have affairs and adventures with other women. One of those adventures was reportedly with his past love Holly. A few years ago, an Australian rogue showed up claiming to be the son of Holly and Robert (which would have made a lot more sense). Instead we found out Luke fathered Ethan while on a jaunt away from Laura. It was ludicrous and insulting to fans. I’m still hoping they fix Ethan’s parentage – making him Robert’s son – before actor Nathan Parsons leaves the soap behind.
5. Casey the Alien: I loved Kimberly McCullough and Robin, but this story had stupid written all over it. We’re used to fantastical stories on soaps – but this one never got off the ground. It wasn’t that the actors didn’t give it their all; it was just a dud of a storyline from start to finish. I felt embarrassed for all those involved.
4. The Balkan: Vanessa Marcil’s full-time return to GH after a prolonged absence was one of the most anticipated tales in the soap’s long and storied history. Too bad it was a dud from the start. Stranding Brenda in Europe – surrounded by characters we didn’t care about – was stupid from the start. Then to tie her to a tired mob plotline just exasperated things. The final straw that broke the camel’s back, though, was when Carly interrupted Brenda’s wedding and never got her comeuppance for it. When even Brenda can’t best Carly, you know there’s a problem in the writing.
3. Felicia abandons her daughters: When Kristina Wagner left, GH should have killed off Felicia or found a better excuse why she wasn’t around. Believing that Felicia would just walk away from her daughters and leave them to fend for themselves was ludicrous. I’ve been a fan of soaps for years, so I know there are some preposterous plot twists, but this one really was out there.
2. Luke runs over Jake: I don’t have a problem with killing soap kids off. In general, I find them annoying. It’s not like Jake did a lot anyway. This move made no sense, though. Jake was the rare kid that had a lot of potential. He was related to the Quartermaines, Hardys and Spencers. That’s a potential powder keg if there ever was one. It became apparent early on that GH was trying to relive their glory days with the BJ and Maxie storyline. Instead they fumbled it from the start. Anthony Geary was great as he played Luke’s horror at realizing he’d mowed down Jake while drunk – but everything else in the storyline was rushed and sloppy. Since the tale was played as another way to prop Jason – it also failed on an emotional level.
1. Sonny romances Emily: This had ick written all over it. Forget the age difference – you get used to that on soaps – it was the fact that Sonny had a brotherly relationship with Emily one second and then was trying to get her into bed the next. It was just so wrong. I mean Sonny and Carly gave Emily and her teen boyfriend Juan the sex talk at one time. Then for him to try and bed her – despite the fact that she was the sister of the man he considered his brother – the whole thing just gave me the heebie jeebies.
Honorable mentions go to: The bio balls at the hospital, Franco the serial killer, Nikolas’ “twin” rapes Emily, Laura goes insane, Jerry Jacks comes back with plastic surgery, a British accent and sociopathic tendencies, Dawn needlessly dies, AJ needlessly dies, and the decimation of the Quartermaines.
What do you think? What are the worst storylines in GH history?