Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The ‘General Hospital’ drinking game . . . fun for all ages

The writing and characters on ABC’s ‘General Hospital’ can literally drive a person to drink.

As far as the writing goes – there are three human props (being Carly, Sonny and Jason) in which almost every story has to revolve.

As fans, we should be used to it. It still grates, though.

The biggest example of this writing lapse revolves around this week’s high profile laboratory explosion that claimed the life of Robin Scorpio (we think anyway). Instead of focusing the action around Robin and her family, we get constant cutaways to Sonny (who has been shot for like the 20th time), Jason (who is facing death for like the 20th time) and Carly (who is trying to seduce a man for like the 100th time).
While I don’t think every ounce of air time should be given to Robin this week, the story should certainly be getting more play than it is.

With that in mind, I thought we’d play a game. Since we all know soaps are predictable, let’s do the ‘General Hospital’ drinking game for the things we are entirely tired of. If this were a real drinking game, we’d all be tanked by the end of the first act.

Anyways, here goes, everybody take a drink when:

Sonny claims he’s protecting his family.

Jason doesn’t change his facial expression – even if the situation warrants it.

Olivia says that Sonny would do anything for his kids.

Alexis says that “her girls” can’t get through the day without her.
Maxie puts her needs above everyone else.

Spinelli says something inane.

Sam wears a shirt that looks like it came from the discount bin at whatever teenage dress shop is popular these days.

Carly goes to Jason to solve one of her problems.

Michael makes excuses for his father.

Shawn gives T.J. a stern look.

Dante calls Sonny a thug and says he wants nothing to do with him only to turn around and have a warm moment with him three minutes later.

Kate reminds people she’s a magazine editor.

Liz lets Maxie get the better of her.

Luke says that Laura trapped him with a house (drink two for this one – since we all know it isn’t true).

Sonny claims the current woman in his life is his soul mate.

Carly curses Sonny in one breath and protects him in the next.

Sam makes her entire life about Jason.

Jason makes excuses for Carly.

Alexis has a hot flash.

Mac verbally abuses a love interest of Maxie or Robin.

Carly blames everyone but herself for her problems.

Lulu whines about Luke abandoning her.

Ethan talks to a portrait/walking mannequin (they’re both equally annoying – and show the same range).

Monica questions Liz’s parenting techniques (even though her kids were raised in the attic).

Jason worries about Franco.

The writers butcher fan favorites in favor of vapid newbies (this is the biggest one).

What do you think? What would you add to the ‘General Hospital’ drinking game?


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