If casting is any indication, 2016’s Batman vs. Superman
movie is going to be a colossal mess.
We’re talking a bomb of epic proportions here.
We’re talking Gigli bad, the Lone Ranger bad, (shudder) Howard
the Duck bad.
An argument can be made about the legitimacy of Henry Cavill
as Superman – even though this will be his second time in the role. All I can
say about Cavill is that he’s better than Brandon Routh – so he’s not the
absolutely worst person they could have cast. I’m not a particular fan of last
year’s Superman revamp – but Cavill was the least of my problems with that
A few months ago, the world of geeks everywhere was shaken
to the core when it was announced that Batman would now be played by Ben
Affleck. Fans across the world revolted – and in really whiny and obnoxious ways.
Personally, I am not an Affleck hater. I think he’s actually
a good actor and he’s a great director. I’ve enjoyed all his performances in Kevin Smith films, I still cry in guilty pleasure Armageddon when he’s saying
goodbye to Bruce Willis and his turn as real life Superman portrayer George
Reeves was stellar. He is not Batman, though.
Did the people in charge of casting this flick even see
I’ve always been a Batman fan more than a Superman fan –
although, at my heart – I’m really an Incredible Hulk fan. That’s an entirely
different franchise, though – one that was cast a whole lot better, in my
I remember seeing 1989's Batman in theaters and being blown
away. Sure, I was 14, but I absolutely loved that movie. I was a fan of the
follow-up, Batman Returns, as well – even though it was darker (and a whole lot
weirder). When Val Kilmer stepped into the rubber suit I wasn’t exactly
thrilled, but since I had a crush on Chris O’Donnell at the time, I still liked
Even I can’t find anything redeemable about Batman and Robin
so let’s just forget that film even exists. Although, that movie is an example
of George Clooney being a great actor but being horribly miscast – much like
When the series was rebooted several years ago, I thought
Christian Bale was a solid choice for the role. I think he did a pretty good
job, even though he was ridiculously moody (and Bale’s offscreen antics wear me
out sometimes). I think the problems with the final Dark Knight movie had nothing
to do with Bale and everything to do with plot contrivances and a weak villain.
So, in the grand scheme of things, I don’t think I’m
unnecessarily harsh or rigid when it comes to Batman movies. I still think
Affleck is the absolute worst choice out there for that role, though.
That’s a funny statement from me, since I would rather have
10 Afflecks in the film than one Gal Gadot.
I’m not going to lie, the only thing I have seen Gadot in is
the Fast and Furious flicks – which are a guilty pleasure of mine. It’s been
years since Wonder Woman was on any type of screen in the flesh, though, so why
the casting director picked Gadot – a walking twig with the charisma of a Q-tip
(one that’s already been used to remove wax from your ear) – is beyond me.
Seriously, Gadot made the muscle-bound meatheads of the Fast
and Furious movies – we’re talking Vin Diesel and The Rock here – look like
Oscar-winning thespians she was so bad.
I didn’t think the movie could get any worse. Then came word
they were pushing back the release
date by a year. To me, that’s pretty much
admitting the movie might be in trouble.
Then, today, another casting jewel dropped. They’ve cast Lex
Luthor. It’s Jesse Eisenberg. Who? Yeah, the guy from The Social Network and
Zombieland. A talented actor, for sure, but one that is far too young – and without
the gravitas – to play Lex Luthor.
It’s like the casting director for Batman vs. Superman is
just sitting around at his desk wondering who he can cast in a role to really
tick people off. How about Justin Bieber as Robin? Miley Cyrus as Catwoman?
Lindsay Lohan as Harley Quinn? Gary Busey as Two-Face? Tara Reid as Vicki Vale? That sounds about as good as what’s already been
I honestly don’t know what the filmmakers have in mind for
this movie – but I’m starting to think I’ll be waiting for it to come out on
Blu-Ray to find out. Frankly, this doesn’t sound like “must see” casting to me.
What do you think? Exactly how bad is this movie going to be?