You’re not bordering the line of crazy. Honey, you’ve
You’re not justifiably angry and hurt and lashing out –
because that would be understandable, and the powers that be at General
don’t do understandable.
No, Nina, you’ve jumped on the train and are speeding
towards Crazy Town – where you will be named queen and reign forever with no
other able to usurp your power.
I think most viewers knew that – when Michelle Stafford was
hired – Nina wasn’t going to be some consummate victim. No, she was going to be
a mean heroine with a certain strength to buoy her. I don’t think anyone
realized that strength was going to be diagnosable mental illness, though.
Head writer Ron Carlivati has wasted no time in making sure
that viewers realize that Nina is crazy.
A more subtle writer would have dragged things out; let us
wonder about Nina, feel for her. Not RC, though.
He had to keep his title as
Plot Driven King intact so he outed her two weeks into her tenure and gave her
absolutely no rooting value whatsoever.
I would like to think
this means that Stafford is only on for the short term – but since RC insisted
on giving Franco a tumor and trying to make him a hero, I have my doubts.
On Tuesday’s episode, Nina and her “nurse” sat down to make
a hit list. Okay, maybe they won’t all die, but she wants to exert some pain on
these people. So Silas, Ava, Sam, Madeline and Kiki better watch out (although,
how she blames Kiki for any of this is beyond me).
It gave me an idea, though. If Nina can make a “list” then I’m
going to make my own GH hit list.
These are the characters that have done me
wrong – and Nina really is at the top of the list after the past two weeks for all the reasons mentioned above -- and I want some bloody retribution.
10. Sabrina Santiago:
She made me watch her whine and moon
after a man that was clearly out of her league for months. She had every
character on the canvas – some created just for this sole purpose – propping her
to the point where I wanted to deafen myself with Q-tips every time she was on
the screen. I half expected the first words Robert spoke when he woke up from his coma to be: "Forget the fact that I saw Robin and she is alive, how is that nice Sabrina girl that keeps trying to steal Robin's life doing?" I hate passive aggressive characters, and Sabrina fits on that list
– right between Lily and Courtney. Let’s hope that Sabrina decides to stay in
Puerto Rico for good.
9. Carly Jacks:
You are living with the man that facilitated
the rape of your son. The man that kidnapped
your daughter. The man that faked
the rape of your best friend’s wife. You make excuses for his “brain tumor” –
but the only one buying that is you. Your children certainly aren’t. And, while
you’re off trying to run Sonny’s life, you’ve left your brat of a daughter with
the guy that once kidnapped her. On the flip side, you know that your ex-husband brutally killed the father of your child and you're protecting him -- even though you've said he's a danger to your children time and again. Buy a clue, Carly.
8. Ava Jerome:
Enough is enough. You shot Olivia, killed
Connie, framed AJ, slept with your son-in-law, set up AJ’s death by mobster,
had sleazy crypt sex with your boyfriend’s father, threatened everyone in town
and betrayed your brother. It’s time to die. Since you’re on Nina’s list, I’m
guessing a fall down the stairs is in your future – and then a baby theft (anyone
else wondering why Lulu is pushing for a kid so hard? Ava’s going to need a
baby to steal). I don’t want another baby theft and I’m tired of Ava being on
every day. I love Maura West, but I want to see Lucy, Kevin and Scotty – not Ava.
7. Sonny Corinthos:
You’re a despicable human being. You
like to fancy yourself as a mobster with a heart of gold, but you’re not. You’ve
betrayed everyone in your life. Everyone. You’ve declared your children off limits while
terrorizing the children of your enemies. You killed an innocent unarmed man –
after stealing his child from him. You never take any responsibility for your
own mistakes but blame anyone and everyone else you can. You’ve thrown more barware than a drunken hooker -- and fathered more children than a jacked up NBA star. I’m just tired
of you. It’s time for Sonny to ride off into the sunset with Brenda. It’s
– not General Mobspital.
6. Olivia Falconeri:
There’s no rooting value in her
relationship with Sonny because it all happened off screen. Her visions are embarrassing.
Her intrusion in her grown son’s life is annoying. And, quite frankly, I think
she’s worn out her welcome in Port Charles. If ever there was a character that
could just be lifted right out (to help ease the over-population in Port
Charles) it is Olivia. Maybe it’s time she returned to Bensonhurst.
5. Lulu Spencer:
While I’ve never warmed to Emme Rylan’s
Lulu, I have decided to look at the character as someone else completely –
which at least makes the character tolerable to me. Kind of. The sudden insistence
on carrying her own baby – right on the heels of getting Rocco back – makes me
want to smack the character, though. You live in a shoe box and you can barely
take care of the kid you have now. I know RC is just forcing this so Ava has a
baby to steal when Nina deprives her of the one she’s carrying but, come on,
does Lulu’s entire life have to be around procreation? Because it has been for
the past two years and it’s getting old.
4. Morgan Corinthos:
If he screeches “Mikey!” one more time …
I swear, I'm going to pop him one. I think Morgan has potential as a character and I think the actor who
portrays him is going to go on and find success in prime time and movies (probably sooner, rather than later). If we get the full three years with Bryan Craig in the role, we should consider ourselves lucky -- because the kid is going to run away to do something else at that point. That
being said, Morgan is a whiny brat. The fact that he would even consider
raising a baby with Ava after what she did makes my stomach turn. Morgan should
be a dynamic character – let’s not saddle him with the never ending task of
propping Ava. It wears on me. Bring on Scotty, Kevin and Lucy's kids for an age-appropriate love interest.
3. Tracy Quartermaine:
Tracy has been many things over the
years – including a woman that was willing to let her father die for power. She
is not an idiot, though. So Tracy refusing to see the light where Fluke is
concerned irritates me. She keeps accusing Kiki of hitting on Luke. But she
never asks herself: Why? Kiki is with a rich young man who adores her. Luke is
a pasty old white dude that doesn’t have two nickels to ruin together. So why
would Kiki be after him? Then there’s that whole forgetting Dante’s name and
acting weird every time she turns around. You’re a mean woman, Tracey, you’re
not an idiot.
2. Levi Dunkleman:
You have no redeeming qualities. Your
voice is like nails on a chalkboard. You’re alienating Maxie from her family (including
keeping her from good food) and keeping her from her child. You're self-righteous and a know-it-all. You’re also clearly up
to something. I know you’re just being used as a temporary stumbling block for
Nathan and Maxie – with another ulterior motive thrown in for good measure, perhaps -- but that weird shadow on your top lip makes me want attack
you with a really painful laser electrolysis system – or a burning hot Epilady.
1. Ron Carlivati:
Okay, he’s not a character. He has managed
to ruin GH, though. Previous head writer Bob Guza decimated GH. He did. He lost
millions of viewers while trying to prop his agenda, all the while flogging viewers with
Jason, Carly and Sonny every single day. He’s the reason GH is in big trouble
right now. That being said, RC is the one dousing the corpse with gasoline and
lighting it on fire. RC is a plot driven writer – not a character driven writer
– and the things that are going on at GH – like Nina and her stupid list – are not
acceptable right now. For the love of all that’s holy, please try to get Claire
Labine back. She’s the only one that can right this sinking ship. GH got left off the best writing list for the Emmys -- even though there were two open spots. The show couldn't even get a pity nomination. That's a direct message to Carlivati.
What do you think? Who would make your list?