Friday, December 28, 2012

Port Charles residents make their New Year’s resolutions

Note: This is just for fun -- so no one freak out.

AJ Quartermaine: I will not fake my own death . . . again.

Mac Scorpio: I will get a storyline of my own -- and take my shirt off more often.

Anna Devane: I will learn what latex feels like.

Robin Scorpio-Drake: I will escape from one of these maniacs on my own.

Johnny Zacchara: I will not marry anyone with multiple personalities . . . again.

Carly Jacks: I will at least attempt to have better taste in men.

Luke Spencer: I will not disappear just when my story is getting good.

Elizabeth Webber: I will sleep with someone and not get pregnant.

Laura Spencer: I will return to town and reclaim what is mine.

Monica Quartermaine: I will stop making excuses for the fact that I raised two criminals.

Patrick Drake: I will realize when I’m being manipulated.

Nikolas Cassidine: I will return to town and claim my birthright.

Tracy Quartermaine: I will stop alienating everyone around me.

Alexis Davis: I will attempt to have better taste in men.

Starr Manning: I will stop breaking out into song when the mood strikes.

Michael Corinthos: I will stop letting everyone in my life manipulate me.

Todd Manning: I will stop letting others blackmail me.

Sam Morgan: I will stop being a walking doormat for men.

John McBain: I will join the 21st century and cut my mullet.

Duke Lavery: I will learn a remedy for bed sores.

Robert Scorpio: I will learn how to say Robin instead of her.

Sabrina: I will grow a personality.

Britt: I will realize that I’m being written as a crazy person and not expect to survive much longer.

Heather Webber: I will stop calling the son I sold on the black market by his first and last name.

Steve: I will stop being so boring.

Olivia: I will check into Shadybrook and not come out until I’m cured.

Dante: I will not let a child cut my hair again.
Lulu: I will never convince myself that giving Maxie an important job is a good idea.

Milo: I will take my shirt off more often.

Spinelli: I will realize that I have no place in this town and move.

Ellie: I will find something to do other than Spinelli.

Maxie: I will chase someone I actually have chemistry with.
Kate: I will have myself institutionalized for the next 12 months.

Connie: I will hire a personal shopper/stylist and not consider myself a "super villain" just because I stole a 13-year-old's manuscript.

Helena Cassidine: I will get better locks for Windemere.

Jerry Jacks: I will pick a plan, and then do exactly the opposite of what I originally planned. What? It can't hurt.

Jasper Jacks: I will return to town and reclaim what is mine.

Lucky Spencer: I will return to town and explain that I have been held captive --  not going to the Frisco Jones School for Loser Parents.

Molly Lansing: I will seek parental guidance before leaving the house.

Shawn: I will take my shirt off more often.

Sonny Corinthos: I will stop calling myself a “coffee importer” and own my misdeeds -- even if there are not enough bar glasses in the world to control the amount of "fits" this will cause in my house.

What do you think? What New Year’s resolutions should we hear in Port Charles this year?


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