Duck and cover! Duck Dynasty is full of redneck humor

I finally found a reality show I can tolerate.

Okay, sure, I watch ‘Hoarders’ from time-to-time, but that’s mostly to motivate myself to clean my house.

I’m talking about A&E’s addictive ‘Duck Dynasty.’

Now, I’m not a big fan of shows that make fun of their stars and said stars aren’t aware of it – like ‘Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo.’ That show is essentially about making fun of rednecks that don’t realize they’re the butt of the joke.

‘Duck Dynasty’ is about making fun of rednecks that not only realize they are the butt of the jokes – but relish living up to their status as buffoons.

Does that make any sense?

I shied away from ‘Duck Dynasty’ for a full season -- mostly because I thought it would be a waste of time.

Well, I admit it, I was wrong. ‘Duck Dynasty’ isn’t what I thought it would be -- at all.

‘Duck Dynasty’ follows around the Robertson family, a group that went from poverty to prosperity thanks to dad Phil’s invention – a duck call. Now, the multi-million dollar dynasty is run by son, Willie. Son Jase Robertson is in charge of the manufacturing portion of the business and I’m still not sure what son Jep does – other than film DVD cooking shows.

The cameras follow every member of the family around – even if they’re only honorary members of the family.

The set-up for the show sounds preposterous – and it is. Essentially, each episode splits time between the home and the office. At the office, you wonder how they managed to make a million dollars – especially when Jase gets the workers distracted with the “great idea” of turning the loading dock into a duck pond.

It’s at home, though, that the true nature of ‘Duck Dynasty’ comes to light.

This is a family that loves each other. Sure they look odd (ZZ Top is not a designer). Sure they swear like sailors. They’re sometimes sexist and they’re often irreverent. Still, you can’t help but fall in love with the Robertson family because they’re always there for each other – and Willie is always lamenting that you can’t fire family.

In the first episode, Grandpa Phil explains to one of his grandsons that it’s okay to marry a homely woman as long as she can cook. He then turns around and tells his son that the reason kids in America are so fat today is because of video games. The guy may be opinionated – but that doesn’t mean he’s wrong.

At its heart, ‘Duck Dynasty’ is really just about a family struggling to find time for each other – while running a multi-million dollar empire. The fact that they do it in camouflage and chest length beards – all the while battling beavers and hunting for frogs – makes the show truthful in its uniqueness.

 

How can you not like a show that has unleashed the following gems on us:

“All of my stories are 95 percent truthful.”

"The Robertson family and bad ideas go together like biscuits and jam."

"Where I come from, you don't mess with another man's woman or his hat."

"I don't know about this 'Justin the Beaver.'"

"You kids ever hear of the term 'Nam'?"

 

“I didn't get the sophisticated gene in this family. I started the sophisticated gene in this family."

"I am the MacGyver of cooking. If you bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pigs feet, pine cones...and a woodpecker, I'll make you a good chicken pot pie.”

“Uptown living, you've got to call 911. Where I am, I am 911."

"Most people named Willie are either in prison or on the arm wrestling circuit."

"First it's pretty tires. Next it's pretty guns. Then the next thing you know, you're shaving your beard and wearing capri pants."

"I never judge a man's prowess by the size of his duck call. I don't care how big it is."

"Ducks are like women. They don't like a lot of mud on their butts."

"Redneck law: Must have a gun. Must shoot it regularly."

"I want my grandkids to grow up in the great outdoors. The last thing I want is for them to grow up to be nerds."

New episodes of ‘Duck Dynasty’ air at 10 p.m. on Wednesdays.

What do you think? Are you a ‘Duck Dynasty’ fan?