The great General Hospital mistake: The Dead Man’s Hand

As a soap watcher, you learn at an early age that you’ve got to suspend disbelief if you’re going to truly enjoy the genre.

That’s why I went along for the rid when ‘One Life to Live’ went to Eterna.

That’s why I embrace it when a soap brings a character back from the dead – especially when it’s Duke Lavery.

And that’s why I’m willing to put up with constant rewrites.

In other words, continuity isn’t your friend when you’re dealing with soaps.

All that being said, why ‘General Hospital’ opted to bring back the Dead Man’s Hand story from about a decade ago dumbfounds me.

As far as stories go, this one was a real stinker.

Essentially, Jasper Jax was trying to find the Dead Man’s Hand (which is the actual cards Wild Bill Hickock was holding when he died) because his father needed them to live. Apparently they’re good luck – unless you’re Hickock who was shot in the back while holding them.

The story was a way to introduce Kelly Monaco’s Sam McCall – a con-artist and thief then. Since then, we’ve found out she was also a bigamist that married men for money, but that’s a whole other story.

When GH first introduced their bio-toxin in the water story – I was willing to suspend disbelief.

After all, it brought back perennial villain Jerry Jax, his beloved brother Jasper, and tied to the mystery abduction of show stable Robin Scorpio.

I held on when, for no apparent reason, it looked like newbie doctor Ewen Keenan had abducted Robin and was giving her electroshock therapy.

I was intrigued when we found out Keenan was taking orders from Jerry Jax.

I was thrilled when I found out Jerry was only a middle-man – and the real man behind Robin’s captivity was her former stepfather Duke Lavery.

The, out of nowhere, GH hit me over the head with all kinds of stupid.

Jerry Jax, it seems, wants $88,111,000 – or the equivalent of the Dead Man’s Hand.

See, Jerry is apparently dying and, while they haven’t come out and directly stated it, I’m guessing he’s hoping that the cards will save his life.

That’s not the only ridiculous part of the story, though.

See, Dr. Keenan has tumbled over the mental edge, abducted Elizabeth and admitted to her that he killed the Jax patriarch because John Jax stole the cards from his father back in the day and caused his family financial ruin. Keeping up? I know it’s convoluted. Jerry saw Ewen kill his father and did nothing – but is now blackmailing him to do his dirty work.

Anyone want to bet that Jason plugs Ewen before he has a chance to admit that he stuck Robin somewhere?

Jerry Jax also admitted that he’s the one that stole the Dead Man’s Hand – thus causing his own father’s illness – years before. My problem is (one of several) that he says that AJ Quartermaine helped him do it.

AJ was trampled on for years to prop brother Jason – can we please not continued to heap big, steaming piles of crap on him in his death?

The writing on GH has gotten markedly better in recent months – and I love nods to history – but couldn’t Ron Carlivati have picked a better story from GH’s past to pay homage to? Because, honestly, I don’t ever want to hear another word about those stupid cards.

There is enough going on without having to add the Dead Man's Hand plotline to the mix. Jerry is bloodthirsty enough to want to kill the town without bringing up those ridiculous cards.

I guess it's true what they say: Two steps forward and one step back.

GH just took a step back.

 

What do you think? Are you glad they resurrected the Dead Man’s Hand or not?