Soaps and baby switches: What’s the deal with that?

Okay, who didn’t see a baby switch story on the horizon the minute Tea and Sam were in a room commenting on how pregnant the other one was on ‘General Hospital’?

One thing you can say for Ron Carlivati (GH head writer) is he’s consistent. Carlivati is the former head writer of 'One Life to Live', a soap that's biggest claim to fame in recent years were Jessica’s DID storyline (now being revisited – and poorly so – by GH’s Kate) and the Hope and Chloe baby switch.

The problem is, baby switch storylines really are tired and done.

‘General Hospital’ made a name for itself in the past by being innovative. Anyone remember Stone's AIDs story? Or Maxie getting B.J.'s heart?

Retreading overdone soap clichés is not going to bring in new viewers – and it could very well alienate current ones.

This week, Todd delivered Tea’s baby in the middle of a storm. By his reaction, it was obvious there was something wrong with the infant.

Not far away, Sam went into premature labor and had to be aided by cop John McBain. Despite being born prematurely, her baby seems relatively healthy.

Just some quick history on these two ladies, Tea’s husband Victor was shot down by his brother Todd in cold blood and “killed.” This baby was Tea’s last piece of Victor. As for Sam, several years ago she had another baby that died shortly after birth.

Both of these women have undergone severe trauma.

It just happens to be poor Sam’s bad luck that her husband – mobster Borg Jason Morgan – sent goons to attack McBain to send him a message to get out of town right after she had her baby. While she thinks he’s going to get a car and take her to a hospital, he’s actually been dumped out in the rain.

Meanwhile, back with bickering exes Todd and Tea, Todd agrees to get the baby to the hospital – but knows it’s already too late. He happens to run into resident whack job Heather Webber who is busy dumping the body of local mobster Anthony in the same area.

Anyone who has ever watched soaps knows what’s going to happen next.

Sam is going to go looking for John and in her weakened condition pass out with the baby. Todd and Heather are going to find her. Todd is going to feel guilty about depriving Tea of her baby’s father and switch the baby out with Heather – with both sides agreeing to keep quiet about Anthony’s body.

When Sam wakes up, not only is she going to have another dead baby – but she’s going to find out the reason she wasn’t taken to the hospital right away is because her husband is a disgusting loser who orders guys to beat up a cop.

She’ll turn on Jason – even though he was going to tell her he was willing to be a father to the baby even though it was his serial killer brother’s (yes, I know there’s every possibility that Heather changed the paternity test – although, if I’m being honest, I can’t see her changing the babies out if she really changed the paternity because that would ruin her plans – but that’s a whole other rant isn’t it?).

So, where will that leave us?

Tea will be raising a baby that isn’t her own. That baby will inevitably be ripped from her arms and Todd will be despised even more than he is now. My guess is, the baby will have that weird Cassidine condition -- no, not insanity, the other one.

Sam will pull even further away from Jason and closer to John. I’m guessing that John will get in another fight with Natalie (please over the phone – no one needs to see her in Port Charles) and the two will end up in a drunken tryst a few weeks from now.

Jason, in his despair, will turn to Liz and they’ll have sex (again) and Liz will get pregnant (again – seriously, the woman gets pregnant every time she has sex).

Later, when the truth comes out about the baby switch, the quadrangle of Liz/Jason/Sam/John will be so convoluted it could take years (if GH has that long) to sort out.

Whew.

Just typing all that out maybe me laugh at how ludicrous soaps are – and yet I love them anyway.

Anyway, back to the main point.

I think Carlivati has done wonders with GH since taking over. His biggest misstep so far, though, has been Kate’s DID story and the ruination of Johnny.

Let’s hope that this baby switch storyline isn’t handled as heavy-handedly as those two stories were.

What do you think? Are you looking forward to another baby switch storyline?